


when i was your man

by callumsvoid



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Love, M/M, Memories, One Shot, Pining, Romance, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26288653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsvoid/pseuds/callumsvoid
Summary: inspired by the song: "when i was your man" by bruno mars
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	when i was your man

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fic i've ever written so i'm sorry if its absolute garbage,, i'm lowkey scared about posting this but i hope atleast one person somehow enjoys this mess

Ben stumbles to the bar, requesting yet another beer. How many was that now? He forgot after the third one. The room spins and doubles in vision. It’s been weeks since him and Callum broke up, Callum reaching breaking point with Ben’s crimes. Ben couldn’t bring himself to get lost in the empty heat of a stranger. He couldn’t even bring himself to want to, let alone do it. The last time he saw Callum was the day after his operation and as happy he was to hear again, the idle chatter around him began to annoy him. He gulps down the bitter liquid and blinks several times, trying to clear his vision. 

_Although it hurts, I'll be the first to say that I was wrong. I know I'm probably much too late to try and apologize for my mistakes._

The room feels like it was spinning faster but when he catches sight of Callum, it was like somebody just splashed cold water onto him. He feels sobered and his heart drops like a ton of bricks. Callum’s arms are wrapped around a smaller man, swaying softly to the music playing. The man looks a lot different to Ben. He cleans up a lot nicer and seems like the kind of man you could actually introduce to your parents and hold hands openly with without fear of him being a criminal. They were gazing into each other's eyes with some kind of love behind them. Ben felt bile rise in his throat. His palms felt clammy and his pulse was racing. 

_But I just want you to know, I hope he buys you_ _flowers. I_ _hope he holds your hand._

Suddenly, Callum catches Ben’s eye and Ben can’t make himself look away. He feels a tidal wave of emotions flood over him. His pulse races faster. He wants to move but is frozen to the spot. Body stiff and tired from excessive drinking. Ben wonders if the other man knows Callum the way Ben did. The little things like how Callum prefers his tea milky or how Callum enjoys singing and dancing along to cheesy Disney songs. His heart sinks at the thought of him knowing that side of Callum. His heart sinks even further when he wonders If anybody could know Ben the way Callum did. Would anybody else be able to see the real Ben? The side of him which is vulnerable and broken and desperately wants to be accepted and loved for who he really is. The side of him which is a loving father who wants the best for his family. The side of him which was loving and protective of the people he cares about. Ben doesn’t want anybody else. He wants Callum. 

_Take you to every party,_ _‘Cause_ _I remember how much you loved to dance. Give you all his hours, when he has the chance._

Ben imagines a reality when he’s the other man, holding Callum and whispering into his ear how much he loves him. But he had his chance and he fucked it up one too many times. The buzzing in his pocket finally breaks him from his trance. He reads the text over once or twice before taking a final gulp of beer, slams the glass down and strides towards the door. As he reaches the door, he takes a final glance at Callum. They make eye contact once again but this time Callum gives him a small smile with a small glimmer of hope in his eyes. Ben responds with a smile of his own and a nod before walking out. 

_Do all the things I should have done._

For now, he will let Callum go and pray that the universe will someday bring them back together. For Callum, it’s a chance that Ben is willing to take. As much as he hates to admit it, he hopes Callum is happy and that the other man treats Callum well and does all the things that Ben should have done. 

_When I was your man._

**Author's Note:**

> thank u so much for reading!!  
> all kudos & comments appreciated <3


End file.
